I know that sounds dramatic, so think about it for a second. That piece of paper decides where your kid sleeps on a Tuesday, who gets Christmas morning, who pays for soccer league and buys cleats, and whether you can take your own child to the doctor for a rash without asking permission first. It's your child's childhood, on paper.
Most plans are written like everybody's going to get along.
I'm Sam. I've written over 5,000 parenting plans, I'm a retired Certified Divorce Mediator, and I've lived this: a four-year custody battle and 18 years of co-parenting with someone who made everything harder than it needed to be. So I'm not going to hand you a fairy tale where you get absolutely everything. I'm going to give you a plan you can live with, one that grows with your kid and still works on the day your ex decides it doesn't.
That's the Gold Standard.
Moms and dads, every one of these doors is yours.
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Reasonable to who?
Because you two think differently, and let's remember you are divorcing for a reason.
Here's what that looks like in real life.
My plan said “alternating holidays.” That's it.
The first year, my ex took Easter because it fell on his weekend anyway. The next year I figured, great, it's mine. Nope. “We never settled that.” And he was right, because it wasn't in writing, so I gave up another Easter just getting a court date to define the word alternating.
Make that make sense.
When you can't look at your plan and know exactly when your time starts and stops, that's a fucking problem.
Get The Gold StandardYou've heard me on iHeartRadio, The DRV Law Show, and with Karen Covy.
Halloween, fall break, Thanksgiving, winter break, Christmas Eve, Christmas, New Year's. If your plan's vague, somebody's about to lose a holiday, and it's never the high-conflict parent. Check it now, before the costumes come out.
Check My Plan FreeKnow better, do better
Strategic and educational only. Does not constitute legal advice.