What if the document meant to protect your kids is actually the thing that traps you for the next 18 years? Tragic.

I started this podcast because I kept watching parents rush to sign “standard” parenting plans, then wonder why they are stuck for years throwing money at lawyers trying to unf*ck them. In this pilot episode of The Ugly Truth of Divorce, I break down the five clauses that sound reasonable but quietly give your high-conflict ex all the leverage. The vague wording. The loopholes. The crap no one warns you about until you are already knee-deep in it.

If you're exhausted and just want it over with—I get it, really. But slowing down right now will save you years of chaos, money, and regret ( and avoid the worst case scenario—your ex running your life.)

Don't sign anything until you hear this. Listen now.

Here’s What You Can Actually Take Away:

• "Standard" is a trap. Generic parenting plans are outdated, vague, and designed for cooperative co-parents who don't exist in high-conflict divorces. They sound fair but give one party all the leverage.
• The pressure to sign fast is intentional. When attorneys say "I need your answer by Friday" after a year-long divorce, or "don't worry, we'll fix it later," they're creating urgency that benefits them—not you. Modifications cost thousands and take months.
• Vague language creates control, not cooperation. Phrases like "mutually agree," "open communication," and "in good faith" sound reasonable but have no measurable requirements. Courts can't enforce what isn't specific.
• The damage shows up later—not when you sign. You'll think your plan is fine for weeks or months, until you try to enforce it. Then you realize nothing is enforceable, and you're stuck choosing between spending money you don't have or letting your ex control everything.
• Read your plan wearing your ex's glasses. Don't just read it from your hopeful, cooperative perspective. Read every sentence imagining the worst possible interpretation from someone who doesn't like you, doesn't want to cooperate, and is looking for loopholes.
  

The Truth Bombs

• “A standard parenting plan will fail you — especially in high-conflict divorce.”

• “The damage doesn’t show up the day you sign. It shows up when you try to enforce it.” 

• “Vague language doesn’t create cooperation. It creates control.” 

• “If your parenting plan isn’t measurable, it isn’t enforceable.” 

• “This isn’t about being nice. It’s about protecting your future with your kids.”

• "They make you feel bad because you question things. They make you feel bad because you want detail. Don't they realize this is OUR future, not theirs? And we just gave them tens of thousands of dollars to make sure our future is protected."

• "You have to take those glasses off and read it as your ex—who most likely is high conflict, or will be at some point in time. Mark my words. It always gets uglier before it gets better."
• "Before you sign, take off your glasses, put their glasses on, and read it as them. Especially if they don't like you."

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We'd Love to Hear Your Stories!

Have a story or question you want addressed?

This podcast exists because way too many parents are slogging through divorce quietly and thinking they are the only ones dealing with this mess. You can share your story, ask real questions, or send in topics you want broken down without the fluff. Stories can be shared anonymously, and no, this is not legal advice, but honest conversations are where clarity actually starts.

Samantha Boss: All right, so it's been a minute since I have put anything out, just me by myself, and I wanted to do this in 2026. For a multitude of reasons. I wanted to start a podcast where parents could go and just learn. I know I do a lot of social media where I'm giving tips and tricks, but the thing with those is they're only like a minute or two long, and then in the comment section, sometimes it gets really heated and you know you're in the weeds and you don't know what advice is, right?

So I thought, why not just come on here, start a podcast where this will just be an extension. Of my social media. And so this will be a longer version of all of those little clips and those videos that you save and those videos that you forward to people. This will be the place to come to ask your parenting plan questions and hopefully get them answered.

And so to kick this off with episode one of probably thousands, we are going to talk about the clauses that you do not want to have in your parenting plan. Do not sign this shit if it's written in your parenting plan. And we're gonna get into what they are and we're gonna get into why. But I need you to hear me.

The Pressure to Sign (And Why “Standard” Will Haunt You)

This is your future with your kids. It's nobody else's. It is literally you as a single parent going into being a lone ranger, raising these children. And what you will end up following is said, parenting plan. If said parenting plan is written piss poorly, meaning it has all the things we're gonna talk about today, you are going to be paralyzed with either having to go back to court or spend money to go back to mediation, or the worst case scenario, have your ex run your life.

So here's the thing that pressures people into it right away of signing these parenting plans is let me know, has your attorney said, Hey, I need to know your answer by Friday. I need you to read this and let me know by Friday if it's good for you. Like, are you serious? We've been going through this divorce for a year and you're giving me three days to look this over so you feel pressure to just hurry up and sign, but you don't even know what the hell you're signing.

Right? Or how about this whole idea that your attorney's like, oh, you know, don't worry about it. Just go ahead and sign it. You know, we'll fix it later. This is the way they all are. This is a standard plan. That word standard will haunt you if you sign these clauses into action because the damage doesn't show up.

The day you sign. damage doesn't even show up two weeks later. Could, it's going to show up months or heavy, heavy, heavy on the weeks later. And that's the frustrating part, is that you're just at this horrible point in your life where you're like, I just want fucking divorce. I just wanna be done. I just want it over.

I just want to get away from this person. you don't realize this parenting plan is going to follow you and haunt you for months and years to come if. It has these clauses in it. So I'm telling you right now, a standard plan will fail you. Now I build custom plans. I'm not here to hide that. that's what I sell.

I sell custom parenting plans, but this whole channel is going to be about educating you so you know what not to sign, and quite possibly how to build it yourself. But a standard plan will fail you because it's written by people. Who aren't in your life, they're written by attorneys or lawyers or both, or hell, they've been on the shelf for 25 years using the same standard plan.

It's out of touch with reality. It's out of touch with what your kids are doing. It's out of touch with, oh, I don't know, your co-parenting dynamic, but they lead you to believe that this is a standard plan and this is as good as you're gonna get. So you might as well just read it, understand it, and sign it.

And hell, the understanding part, they might not even say. They might just say, sign it, and here we are stuck. We want the standard plan or we're forced to have the standard plan. The courts are putting their own language in there, but there's actually no intention of it actually being usable, and we'll get into how that is.

But high conflict, people love them. A standard plan. They love it. Why? Because they can dominate you into making you believe. It reads how it benefits them. They love that. So again, it's a big lie that we're told as parents we're told this is standard language. Every parenting plan has this I call bullshit.

The Ugly Truth About the System

I've been doing this over 10 years. I have read well over thousands of plans produced by attorneys and court systems, and I'm here to tell you the honest truth. They suck. The reason I call my channel the ugly truth of divorce. 'cause I'm gonna tell you, it is fucking ugly what is out there? It's ugly on what we pay.

It's ugly on how we feel and it's ugly on what they think we should be living by as a standard of paperwork. It's ugly. And here's the thing that they tell you, they say, you know, don't worry about it, Sam. We can change that verbiage later. I wish for all of you that are new here, I call horrible lawyers.

Larry. I wish Larry the lawyer, understood that. I'm smart now. I know when you say, oh, we'll change it later. It's so simple. No it's not. Larry, I'm gonna have to hire you again. I'm gonna have, or another attorney, I'm gonna have to pay the retainer again. I'm gonna have to file the motion to modify. I'm gonna have to maybe go to mediation again and last time I checked, none of those things are free.

So this isn't as easy as just sign it. Sign the standard even though it might not fit my personality, my ex's personality, my job, their job, my kids, the lives, the money, the dynamic, the distance. It doesn't fit, but it's standard. So, hey, we should sign it and don't worry, we can fix it later. Like it's no big deal.

That is the problem is that us as parents, we didn't understand what all that meant, right? we get rushed through, hurry up and read this in three days. It's standard and they make you feel bad because you question things. They make you feel bad because you want detail. They make you feel bad because you're asking a lot of questions and.

What surprises me though is like, don't they realize this is our future, not theirs, and we just gave them tens of thousands of dollars to make sure our future is protected, but yet they're rushing us through and making us feel so silly and so stupid for asking questions. It blows my mind. So let's dive in.

I'm just gonna give them to you. And again, there's variations of these. I want you to know that if you read anything like these inside of your parenting plan that was produced by an attorney or online, or a mediator or a court system run. Don't sidestep, run, refuse. Don't do it. Now again, I'm just a mom who's certified in divorce coaching, high conflict emphasis.

I can't give you legal advice, but what I can give you is a lot of fucking common sense. And the ugly truth of it is they're gonna want you to do this because they want you to come back because they want your money. I don't know if you're absolutely new here, but here's the deal. The family court system is a business, billions and billions of dollars every year goes into the family court system.

So why not have you think that you just signed the best standard plan in the state, only to have it completely blow up in your face two months later, and you have to what? Call the very expensive professionals again. So let's get into it. What are the five clauses? That if they are in here are gonna cause you so many problems.

The Five Clauses That Quietly Destroy You Later

First one. Decision making parties shall share joint legal decision making authority regarding all major decisions affecting the minor child. Oh, now I'm just gonna tell you right now, we're gonna break all five of these down in later episodes, so stay tuned and subscribe Parenting time. Parenting time shall be exercised as the parties mutually agree based on the best interest of the child.

Oh, it sounds so warm and fuzzy when you know nothing about divorce or co-parenting, but as a veteran sitting here, that sentence makes me want to vomit because we have so many, I'm not even gonna get different perspectives. Let's go. Keep going. Communication. The party shall maintain open and direct communication regarding the minor child.

Now again, if I'm a bothered parent, I'm worried about my children. I'm hearing that I'm going communicate great. It says that we have to communicate. That's awesome. In an episode three or four, I'm gonna blow your mind as to why that's gonna be the biggest problem. In a high conflict co-parenting journey, shared expenses, let's get into it.

The parties shall share equally all reasonable and necessary expenses for the minor child. Now, again, you may be reading that going, Sam, it nails it. It says, I'm responsible. They're responsible. Let's fucking go. We both have to pay. I'm gonna tell you in later episodes how that sentence is going to make you financially broke because you will have to cover it all because your ex won't cover shit because that sentence allows them to not pay for anything.

I'm getting pissed off just talking about this because. I think it's unfair for those of you that are going into this and you have all these great ambitions of like, I hired a professional, Sam, I hired the best attorney in town. They were referred. They were referred, and then you're like, well, wait a second.

Mine has that sentence. Why did they do that to me? Because who do you gotta call when you ask a question to your ex? You gotta call your attorney. When you're unclear about where they're coming from, how do they read it like that? I didn't read it like that. Let's get into the last one. Enforcement slash modification.

Any future disputes shall be resolved by the parties in good faith through mediation prior to court involvement. So right here it tells you you're gonna have to do mediation, which last time I checked is not for free. So you're having to pay. So why are these clauses so dangerous? They sound fair and cooperative, right?

They sound like Sam. I have to. They have to. Sure. That's the way it sounds. But there's nothing in any of those sentences that are measurable. There's nothing in those sentences saying they have to. That word shall hate it. Hate it. It doesn't mean we have to, so right from the word reading this, there's a power imbalance because I read it like, yes, best interest of the child, let's go.

They read it as doesn't say, I have to, just says Maybe I don't think it's the best interest of the child. It will end up favoring one party over the other dramatically. If you know, you know, and that's why you're here, to figure out how do I change these words? How do I make these clauses not exist? What do I do?

And again, to reiterate, do not sign things. This is not legal advice. This is common sense. You rush through and sign something that includes one of those five or all five of those clauses, you might as well go get a third job or a fourth job or sell a kidney because you are gonna be spending so much money going back to court to argue what those sentences mean and or you're just gonna roll over and let your ex run your life because you can't afford to go back.

What To Do Before You Sign (Read It Like Your Ex)

So who does this impact the most? You listening? You listening, there's a reason you guys come to me. There's a reason why you tune in. It's because I'm speaking your language. I know your life. I have lived it myself, but I know it like the back of my hand because the past 10 years have been helping everybody and their brother through their high conflict divorce and co-parenting journey, and all of my clients deal with a high conflict X.

And so when you have someone like this. Who is just extreme high conflict. They benefit from these standard clauses. They benefit from this language because they're not wrong when they say they don't have to because that's how they read it. But I read it that we do, but there's nothing definitive in it.

There's nothing saying they have to do those things. So it's important that if you value your piece, you don't have these clauses in there. If you want flexibility, sure, keep 'em in there. And sometimes your ex will agree and sometimes they won't. But you're also somebody that's trusting the system way too much, because if you think a billion dollar system has your best interest at heart, they don't.

They don't. So you're here to protect yourself. So what do you do before you sign? First and foremost, slow down. When your attorney says three days, I gotta know in three days and sign this, I would say, Hey, remember that one time I called you on a Tuesday and said, call me back this week and I didn't hear from you for two weeks.

Is it that type of urgency, Larry? Or how about that time that I was literally locked outta my house and you didn't answer the phone and I had to call the police and that was the wrong thing to do, and you yelled at me. Is it that kind of urgency that we're speaking of? So slow down when they say three days, say, well, that's not possible because here's the deal.

Number one, I have a full-time job. Number two, I have my kids all three of those days. And number three, I value my sleep and my sanity and my workouts. I don't have time until next week when I don't have my children. So tell the other side, whatever you need to tell them, but I'm gonna push this back till next week.

Do not be a yes man or woman to your own attorney. Read the plan. If I do not build your parenting plan, and this is the first time you've ever heard from me, number one, go take my masterclass so you can learn everything on speed version. Just go through it in three hours, but this podcast will break them down.

But the deal with this is you have to read your parenting plan from your Larry or from your attorney, or from your mediator and read it with your glasses on. From your perspective, your view of the kids, your view of life, your financial view, your views on co-parenting. You read it as you, and then what you have to do, and so many of you won't do this.

I hope you will now that you're hearing it, but you have to take those glasses off and read it as your ex who most likely is high conflict or will be at some point in time. Mark my words. That's the ugly truth of it. It always gets uglier before it gets better. But read the whole damn thing from their perspective, knowing who they are, knowing that they're manipulative, knowing that they lie, knowing that they hide, knowing that they don't like you.

So then you have to go through each thing and go, okay, how can I enforce that? Is that measurable? Which we're gonna break them all down in episodes to come. So I built this podcast for you, which ironically is for the former me all those years ago, 20 some years ago. When I started my divorce, I didn't know what the hell I was doing, but I hired a really good attorney.

So I thought it was cost me a lot of money, had to go borrow the money to get divorced, and I put that money down and I kind of walked away thinking she had it. She had it under control. Fast forward years later, when we finally went through court, eight days worth. I got a parenting plan 90 days later. I was so excited over those four pages.

So excited. I was divorced. I got my name back. I got a plan. I thought I was divorced. All that money I was done and then I tried to use, said fucking plan, and it was worthless. It didn't say anything. It needed to say. It didn't have details. Literally all it was was a piece of paper saying, call that guy again.

Work with him some more. He's your co-parent. Go hang out with him. Go engage with him. Go share your kids. Go share money. Go to, there was no measurable anything in those four pages. So before you sign, take off your glasses, put their glasses on and read it as them. Especially if they don't like you. So in the next episode, we are going to break down decision making two a t on making sure you understand what it should say, and I'm gonna give you some things of what it shouldn't say.